What I love most about naturism is the fact that those who embrace feel free of social expectations on body image, well, to an extent. I am aware that society still puts expectations on women and how they should look, both dressed and undressed, more than it does men but it would not be true to say there is no pressure on men at all.
I was a skinny child and teenager but have struggled with my weight since I was 19 or so when I noticed a beer belly started in the nude photos my then girlfriend had taken of me. This was when I had a passing interest in naturism but had not taken the plunge. Then my girlfriend left me, I got another, we split up, I got another, fell madly in love, got dumped... and my self worth fell through the floor.
Over the next ten years my weight steadily rose, I made occasional efforts to do something about it, the gain would ease off and I may even lose a little but I never weighed myself and it wasn't until I was going out with my now wife and was appalled at the photos from our first holiday together in 2001 I started to care about my weight.
To put this in context, I'd been to a naturist beach by myself a few times by then but in 2002 my (now) wife joined me for the first time and by then I must have started my first big diet as my first ever naturist beach picture taken by her shows me as only moderately heavy and I know my holiday in Spain later that year saw me at one of my lightest weights.
As I've said, naturism is about acceptance and tolerance of how others look, it's one of the least judgemental environments one can experience. I've seen in naturist environments very big people, very small people, women with mastectomies, a man with one leg and even a man born without genitalia. And nobody cares. I didn't care what people looked like, in fact if I'd seen these people dressed I'd probably have been more judgemental about their clothing choices! So how large someone else is never bothered me... how large I was did however and ironically it's down to clothes, not nudity.
We got married in 2005 and I know I was much heavier then from the wedding photos and video. Over the next few years the weight piled on again. I made a big effort in 2012, went to Slimming World lost a lot of weight and then had some mental health issues and put it all back on again. Plus some.
In 2016 I was popping buttons off shirts, getting sore where my trousers were too tight around the waist and most importantly I was not able to wear the styles I like. Some naturists may find it unusual but I really do like clothes; I like being naked but I didn't feel the need to be naked all the time; I just don't think it should be a big deal when I do. I also had some health issues, repeated problems with my feet and knees due to the strain I was putting on them and a lack of general health made me feel out of sorts far too often. I admire people who can be comfortable in their body no matter what the size but I couldn't, I felt very uncomfortable, literally. I had another go; I went back to Slimming World and found I was at my heaviest ever at 233 lbs (height 5'11"). The following picture was taken early in this weight loss regime...
I'll save you the details but I really got in to it and over six months got down to 175 lbs; a loss of over 50lbs.
There were some unkind comments; some people said I looked ill but I think that was only because they were used to seeing me looking "jolly". I felt great. And I still had a paunch! I could actually have lost more weight and wanted to as I was running up to 10 miles at a time by now and wanted to get more in to that. Then I started feeling mildly depressed, stopped putting the effort in, stopped going to Slimming World, stopped running... and put on half the weight I'd lost in four months over winter. Thankfully I've snapped myself out of it and am now getting back to where I was and once again it's clothes that is the main reason; if I never needed clothes I wouldn't have felt them getting tighter and then not fitting. I had donated all my bigger clothes to charity so there was a real urgent need to get back into the groove.
So the moral of the story is... there isn't a moral to this story. I wanted to lose weight becasue I was unhappy being the size I am and felt unhealthy. But that is no judgement on anyone else. I have friends who are bigger than me and if I felt they were unhappy I'd be there for them but as far as I'm concerned it's the choice I made and the choice other people can make for themselves. Love the skin you're in.
Love and peace to you all...
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